I used to not understand why people tend to keep others away, but as I grow older I slowly understood how and why I should. Everyone's selfish but there are only that few people who are worth your selflessness. We went through pretty rough patch last week but I'm glad we put in the effort to talk it out while staring at at the wall we singlehandedly painted together. I don't know what went on in my mind, I just couldn't put down those bitterness in my heart although I clearly know that the issue will put him in a spot. But I'm thankful that he doesn't give up on me for all the silly episodes I put him through and never fails to give me a hug whenever I start tearing over minor issues even if I was the one at fault. I thought I knew how to love but once and again, I find myself making the same old mistakes. But as I lie next to him that night, I asked myself, "Am I still gonna continue my immature rants and have him give up on me? How am I gonna pick myself up this time round if I were to lose this anchor in my life?" I knew exactly what I had to do next.
The past 3 weeks have been about US, US and US. Ever since I came back from Melbieeee, we have been meeting up almost everyday. I just spent the last 60 hours with the boy, shuttling between our homes and right now I'm having a withdrawal syndrome from a boyfriend overdose. He brings me around to satisfy my different food cravings and my love for pretty cafes. I think I put on more weight after the trip than during the trip! We have been pampering ourselves with awesome food almost every other day but have come to a pact that we shall have good food only once a week. Btw, it's only Wednesday but we've failed already. I made us a little Summer handbook to note down all the little things we do and goshhhh, it is quite filled after 3 weeks. I can't wait to visit more pretty cafes and do silly things with him like climbing the HSBC Treetop Walk (HAHA). There is also the Batam trip with the rest of the block and another BFFs outing just like last Saturday's picnic. Although things are a tad different now that school's out, we still end up cooking nongshim noodles with 23967812120849203 ingredients for supper and fall asleep while watching a show just like before. :D
"If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. you are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. you are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession. you fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how i’m a hopeless romantic at heart. if you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. but, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when i’m with you, the way i’ll text you in the mornings just telling you i hope you have a great day. you’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things i say, and the way i blush when people ask me about you. but to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite me thinking that it is impossible."
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